On A Wave of Hope

Thoughts on Resolutions and the tools to see them through

Without love in the dream, it'll never come true… Robert Hunter.

And on this final day of 2024, with the fading light of a setting sun, a rising moon, a darkening sky soon wild with stars, and the awesome order of the cosmos working quietly above, we Earthlings gear up for an evening of celebration like no other marking another loop around our Sun. To the intergalactic outsider, we must seem a little alien. We’ve made the same loop 5 billion times in a row without incident; what’s to get so excited about? But we Earthlings see it differently. For us, our trip is short, a volatile, uncertain battle against time and fate. And though, as a people, we don’t agree upon much; we collectively pin a unique tail on this day that marks the end of our calendar year.

What commences is a mass global countdown party. Not all at once; we space it out some; it’s a time zone thing. But wherever you reside, as your clock ticks toward midnight and the Times Square ball begins its highly anticipated drop, calendars loosen up for their annual flip as party-hatted revelers ensure the one they love is nearby. It’s an end and a beginning, out with the last, in with the new. If you're really on it, you've already cracked out your new 2025 planner (before the year starts!!) and got busy plotting how to better yourself this coming annum. And as the final firework pops, the confetti and streamers fall, the closing notes of Auld Lang Syne fade softly into the ether; it’s now officially the beginning of a brand new year, full of excitement and possibility, coming in on a wave of hope.

Hope. It’s a term that gets thrown around a lot. It has many siblings: optimism, positivity, goal-orientedness, ambition, dreams. For the romantic in you, hope is a waking dream; to have so much faith in your visions, the power to manifest them coming true within you. For the more grounded among you, hope is a life force, the fuel to imagine a better version of yourself, and the power source to carry that out. With hope, anything is possible. It’s our human superpower, driving us to become the best version of ourselves we can be.

And though hope can be a dangerous thing.

With it, there's always a chance.

No day of the year represents hope more than today and New Year's Eve when we declare en masse our intentions to improve through the making of New Year's resolutions.

Hope resides on a spectrum. Some of us possess more of it than others: one part environment, another constitution. As a person in recovery, I'm no stranger to hope and the bettering myself dynamic. I can't count the times on January 1st, I resolved with all my might never to drink again. I would vow to anyone still listening that this time, I was serious, that this time it would be different, and I was willing to do whatever it took to change. I would go to great lengths to achieve said sobriety, often hitting my knees, begging the sobriety Gods to please grant me relief from this awful scourge. And those first couple days/weeks, I'd feel like a superhero, Soberman!!! Eyes clear, chin up, full of hope, able to jump over Broadway in a single bound. And then the cycle. Sober up, clean up, speed up, let up, screw up, and before long, I was all messed up again.

What happens? The same person who swore off drinking and meant it was right back at it worse than ever. Why was it so hard for people to see their sacred vows through? If you asked me then, I couldn’t have given you an answer other than change is hard! If it were easy, none of us would struggle to. But the common throughline through all my failings is not that I didn’t want to change my ways; I didn’t know how—learning repeatedly that change doesn’t come from the earnestness of a resolution but by acquiring new tools to see our hopes through.

Alcoholism and addiction do not have a monopoly on this dynamic. It's no different from our tennis training and fitness routines. We all have hopes of someday breaking through, whatever your level may be, of having that winning moment, making the team, getting the scholarship, getting bumped up, maybe even winning it all, and finally realizing a long-waiting return on investment. (It better be compounded!) But as humans, we can run a little complex. Hoping for a better future is only a prerequisite for achieving goals. How does one align one’s often conflicting passions toward a single achievable outcome?

I mean, I want abs, but I love a good pizza…

Late-night pizza commercials conspiring against us

Others can encourage, implore, or light a fire beneath you. But the alchemy required to transform lofty thoughts into disciplined action is about your relationship with yourself!!! How does one light a fire within oneself and keep it burning for as long as it takes to achieve one’s goals? It's hard; like any energy source, it takes constant tending to.

And that requires a different skill set than many of us currently possess.

So, let’s try a different type of resolution this year. Let’s resolve to vigorously apply the daily routines required to achieve a goal: exercise mindfulness, meditation, goal-setting, mantras, and affirmations. These daily routines improve one’s presence, emotional intelligence, focus, concentration, and resolve, qualities the most disciplined and successful among us embody. With a daily focus on these softer skills, we can build a new design for living, a proper foundation to achieve whatever challenges we embark upon.

Nobody accomplishes complex goals by themselves. Your best thinking got you here; that same thinking isn't going to fix the problems that same thinking created. So let’s become willing to new ideas and routines and, most importantly, the ability and courage to ask for help when needed.

As with any challenge, we seek progress over perfection. You have time. This isn’t your last year!!! And though hopes and dreams may start with resolutions, they’re accomplished one unglamorous task at a time. There will be no fireworks for being on time, no parades for getting up early, and no crowd cheering you on as you navigate the extra mile.

And I wish I could promise you how this will all work out; wouldn't that be nice? The Fate economy. Palm readers, empaths, Tarot cards, horoscopes, fortune tellers, 11:11 wish upon star types. Can't I get Chinese take-out and let the cookie tell it all? We all want to know so badly what the outcome will be. Stay out of the results business and focus on the process. Adjust your daily routines even slightly, and you’ll see instant improvement.

Nothing is more empowering than being true to yourself. Lock in these skills now. The belief required for success is built by being consistently faithful to your mission and practicing these daily disciplines. I assure you the traits you acquire chasing your dream will not be just performance-enhancing but life-enhancing and will have far more lasting effects on your life after tennis than any high ranking.

Today is the tomorrow you were excited about yesterday. Let’s work together to win it. Then win tomorrow. Let’s get on a winning streak with your most crucial opponent—Yourself!!!